They were not joking. You will die. A lot. Many, many, many times. It will be gruesome.
Not only that, you will swing your sword like it weights a ton. You will button mash as you see yourself slowly miss, and the enemy's weapon flying true to your face.
You will hear bones crack and crunch as you attempt to dodge attacks while wearing 50 lbs of metal armor.
You will perfectly hit the brick wall right next to you with your sword, while your enemy stabs you directly in the chest with a spear.
You will fight, the same enemies, over, and over again. They will respawn every time you rest at a bonfire, for better or worse.
If you elect to become human in the game, you will be invaded and ganked by the rest of the loving internet world. There is a way to avoid this by joining the Brotherhood of the Sun, but until you do, you will get ganked.
On the plus side...
There are all sorts of weapons, all with their own style of striking.
There are shields and parrying swords you can actually parry with. You can riposte after your parry and do some insane damage. You can kick enemies to stagger them, then hit them while they're defenses are down.
You can attack anyone and anything (watch out for this).
You get a relatively true experience of how sword fighting and weapon mechanics work.
Most bosses are hard, but readable and understandable. A few times I had to just put on more armor and stack poise, and trade hits until I won. It was kinda neat that this worked.
I finally beat this game with tons of help from my friend Luke. A few helpful paths to items and a boss direction will help a ton, as the game is not hand-holdingly linear.
I did not kill all bosses, but I did stray from the crit path quite a bit. It was overall very enjoyable.
I sank 50+ hours into this game, and the only reason I'm not instantly buying the sequel is because I'm debating going straight to the third (out soon) or giving myself a break!
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